Deadpool Ga Kill
by Epiclot214
Summary: The Merc with the Mouth has been given a mission by Death herself. He traveled to the imperial kingdom to join Night Raid and defeat the sadistic empire. Rated M for blood and death. Made Deadpool turn into a teenager for plot convenience. (Deadpool: Thanks, big E.)
1. Kill the Fourth Wall

Two caravan drivers were attacked by a class 1 monster called an earth dragon. It would have eaten them if not for the flash of light coming from inside its stomach. A minute later, the dragon started acting up. He coughed up a lot of blood and writhed around in pain. The men were confused as the dragon fell over to its death. A second later, a sword blade stuck itself out of its belly. A spill of blood later, a man pulled himself out of the dragon's stomach. He was wearing a red suit with black stripes.

"Now, that's what I call a heart attack!" he said. "To quote Ric Flair, 'Wooooo'!"

"Uh, what?" a caravan driver asked.

"What, no thank you?" he asked. "Man, I save you guys and I get no gratitude."

"Um… thank you." The other driver said. "Who are you?"

"The name's Wilson, Wade Wilson!" he said in a Sean Connery voice. "People like to call me Deadpool. So, tell me my good sir, which way to the Imperial capital?"

"You want to go there?" the caravan driver asked. "Well, if you go down the road, you'll reach it. But I warn you, there are people with hearts of monsters in there."

"My kind of town." Wade said. "Thank you. You've been a wonderful audience, but I gotta vamoose. My people will call your people." He walked away with the caravan drivers confused.

Just then, Wade turned to YOU and started talking. "Oh, hey. It's your favorite fourth-wall-breaking, line-crossing Merc with the Mouth in this little anime. Well, technically, fanfic, but semantics. This guy named Dracus6 or something like that requested this, and Epiclot is making it happen. You're probably wondering why I took down the beast instead of the anime's usual Tatsumi. Well, the truth is, I'm taking over. No haters; it's just how this story works. Also, as to why I'm in this Conan the Barbarian setting with a younger look… Well, I'll get into that in the next chapter. Right now, let's get on with the plot."

* * *

Later that night, Wade sat below a dimly lit street light playing a guitar he picked off of a dead guy in the gutter.

"Someday, we'll find it," he sang, "The rainbow connection. The lovers, the dreamers, and…"

"Excuse me." A sweet sound said. Wade looked up and saw a little girl smiling on him. "Are you from the country?"

"Was it my jam that gave it away?" Wade asked. "Let me just say, I'm tempted to ask you what you want for Christmas."

"Would you like to come stay at my place?" the girl said. "I'm sure my parents would love to help out a man in need."

"Just feed me snickerdoodles and you've got a deal." Wade said.

"What's a snickerdoodle?" one of the girl's guards asked his partner.

"How should I know?"

* * *

The girl, who is named Aria, brought Wade to her mansion at the outskirts of the city. He met up with her parents.

"It's good to see our little girl helping someone in need." The mother said.

"Aw, shucks." Wade said. "You're making me blush. See the red?"

"If I may ask, Mr. Wilson," the father said, "What's with the outfit?"

"Well, it's after Labor Day, and this is the only thing I had that wasn't white." Wade said. "Hey, is it okay if I ask for a couple of things while I stay here?"

"Anything to help." Aria said. "What do you need?"

"First, I need a tent." Wade said. "I'd like to sleep outside. I'm not going to get used to this fancy-shmancy fluffy pillows stuff. Second, I want a fan. Not a fancy one. Just anything that blows wind will do. Also, I'm a bit of a heavy meat-eater, so any piece of ray meat will do good. Lastly, I'd like a shovel because reasons."

"That's… odd." Aria said. "Okay, but one one condition: You get to help me go shopping tomorrow."

"Oh, goody." Deadpool cheered gleefully.

* * *

While Aria was in the store picking out new clothes to wear, Wade stood outside her carriage with another guard.

"How was your night, Mr. Wilson?" the guard asked.

"Uneventful." Deadpool said. "But I bet that's going to end tonight. Hey, speaking of royalty…"

"No one was talking about…"

"I bet that's the imperial castle over there." Deadpool looked at the large palace in the middle of the city. "Where the emperor rules over the entire kingdom."

"Not exactly." The guard said. "They don't like me saying this, but the emperor is just a child and incapable of making his own decisions. Instead, all the big decrees are made by his prime minister, Honest, a ruthless, heartless man with no remorse for anything he has done."

"So the prime minister's calling the shots." Deadpool said. "Bet he's got a lot of enemies."

"Yes," the guard agreed, "But mostly Night Raid."

"Night who?"

"Night Raid. An assassin's guild. They attack in the dark and leave no survivors when they target imperial figures."

"Not a lot of Facebook friends, I bet." Deadpool said.

* * *

Later that night, Deadpool continued to bunk in his tent in the backyard. Inside the tent, he turns to YOU.

"So yeah, that's pretty much the setting. I bet you all understand by now. Merc with the Mouth ending up in a strange world where monsters roam and humans are even worse. Everything is ruled by a nutty creep. So now, onto the plot."

Deadpool then heard several screams. He peeked outside and saw several figure standing on strings above the trees. Below them, a girl with black hair carrying a katana sliced through several guards.

"Man, they had to attack tonight." Deadpool complained. "Might as well get the whole thing over with."

Deadpool followed the katana girl until she caught up with another guard protecting Aria. She cut down the guard and tried to strike Aria, but Deadpool swooped in at the nick of time blocking it with his swords. The girl jumped back wielding her blade.

"I'm here to play swords and get freaky," Deadpool said, "And I'm all out of darns to give."

"You're not a target." The katana girl said. "Step aside so that I may finish her."

"Hate to break it to you, Samurai Jack," Deadpool said, "But I've got a good thing going on and you and your friends are ruining it. So if you want to kill this girl, you'll have to kill me first."

"All right." The katana girl said without emotion. She charged toward Deadpool who readied his swords as well.

When they first clashed blades, Aria took a step back to the side of the wooden shack she stood beside. She continued to watch as Deadpool and the katana girl continued to cross swords. Eventually, it ended with the girl outmaneuvering Deadpool and running her sword through his chest making Aria gasp.

"Ugh." Deadpool groaned as the girl in front of him removed her sword from his chest. "If you wanted an impaling, all you had to do was ask." Suddenly, he screamed in pain as black glyphs escaped his wound and surrounded his body. He fell forward as the girl he faced continued her way to Aria.

"Time to end this." She said as she held her sword above Aria's shaking head ready to strike. But before she could, she was surprised to hear Deadpool coughing. She turned and widened her eyes to see Wade Wilson slowly get back up.

"Man!" Deadpool said as his wound began to disappear. "I'm telling you, bean burritos do not agree with me. From now on, I'm sticking with my signature chimichangas."

"That's… not possible!" the katana girl gasped. "My weapon, it…"

"Let me guess, it's poisoned." Deadpool said. "Not a bad choice in weapons. But that won't save you if you think you can just pick on little girls. I have a soft spot for them."

"Who are you?" the katana girl asked in both confusion and surprise.

"…I'm Batman." Deadpool responded with a deep, raspy voice.

"Hold on there, slick."

Deadpool turned to see another teenage girl. She was tall with blonde hair and blonde-furred lion characteristics such as ears and claws. She didn't have a shirt on, but wrapped her chest with a black cloth.

"Hot tamales, now, that's a bod." Deadpool said. "So are you a model or famous actress?"

"Name's Leone. That girl who should have killed you is Akame. As you can guess, we're part of Night Raid. And believe it or not, we have a very good reason for being here. You think we're killing innocent people, but we're not. Take a good look."

Leone leaped and punched the door to the wooden shack. When Deadpool looked inside, it was worse than he imagined. The entire interior was filled with dead bodies and gutted corpses.

"This family has a sick habit of taking in country people from the street and torturing them later." Leone explained. "Even the mother has a habit of implanting them with viruses and documenting them in a journal. The guards knew about it and kept quiet, so they were just as guilty."

"Wade, don't listen to them!" Aria shouted. "I had no idea about this!"

"You can stop denying." Leone said. "Our client saw you take his daughter away to be tortured."

Aria was about to tear up, but then became angry.

"SO WHAT?!" she shouted. "THEY'RE ALL JUST COUNTRY BUPKINS AND I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT! THEY ARE NO DIFFERENT FROM SHEEP WAITING FOR SLAUGHTER!"

"Even the children of the cultural elite can be guilty." Leone said. "So—Wade, was it—now that you know all this?"

"'Now'?" Wade asked. "Lady, I already knew about this."

Akame, Leone, and Aria were all taken aback by this. They didn't expect this response.

"You… knew?" Aria asked.

"Well, yeah." Deadpool responded. "You taking me in off the streets? With everything I heard about the capital, I was immediately suspicious."

"You knew… and you're still going to let her live?" Leone asked.

"Who said I was going to let her family get away with it?"

"Leone!"

A few other characters emerged fro mhe trees. One was a man in big, metal armor. There was also a guy with green hair and a dark-green straightjacket, a girl with pink hair and twin-tails, and a girl wearing glasses and carrying a large pair of scissors.

"What are you all doing here?" Leone asked. "This wasn't the plan."

"Leone," the girl with the glasses said, "When I went to find the mother, she was already dead. I found her torn to pieces and forced to swallow a whole bottle of poison."

"What?" Leone asked surprised.

"Nothing like irony, I always say." Deadpool said. "I would have gotten the dad next, but he was unavailable and I had a schedule to keep up."

"You did this?" Leone asked. "I don't understand."

"Well, if you Merry Men wannabes would just let me explain, you will." Deadpool said with a heavy British accent. "You see, I have known since I arrived that this family was corrupted, so I cooked up a plan to get at them. Unfortunately, you all arrived at the worst possible time. Allow me to demonstrate." He pulled out the raw meat Aria's father let him have the other night.

"A piece of meat?" the guy with the straightjacket asked.

"Not quite as big as the one under my belt, but it would do." Deadpool said. "Ever since last night, I have been using a fan to get this smell into the forest."

"I'm afraid to ask," the pink-haired girl said, "But why?"

Suddenly, everyone heard a roar coming from the far side of the trees. A big, black bear emerged with drool dripping from its fangs.

"What… What are you doing?" Aria asked right before Deadpool gave the meat he was holding to her.

"You see, I make it a rule not to kill kids," Deadpool explained, "And I don't exactly have a cyborg assassin from the future to give me a hand, so I decided to hire another assassin: Mother Nature. Sorry, kid, but it's the circle, the circle of liiiiiiiiiife."

At that moment, Deadpool lifted the terrified Aria up like Rafiki lifting Simba and then tossed her to the bear. The bear then pounced on Aria, who screamed until the bear finished her off. The rest of Night Raid just stood there watching the slaughter.

"Well, I guess bear-wrestling isn't going to be on her resume anytime soon, am I right?" Deadpool asked.

"That's… I don't believe it." Leone said feeling intrigued by Deadpool's creative plan.

"Oh, and that's not all." Deadpool said pulling out a handheld button. "You see, in my freetime, I've been digging a tunnel system underneath the mansion and filling it with bombs."

"Bombs?" the man in the armor asked.

"SHAZAM!" Deadpool shouted as he pushed the botton.

Suddenly, the entire mansion in the distance was blown from underneath by a huge explosion of fire. Everyone watched as the shockwave blew a huge gust of wind that shook the surrounding trees.

"Sweet mother of…" the green-haired guy said. "Pal, who are you?"

"Right, time for some introductions." Deadpool said. "My name is Wade Wilson. People call me Deadpool, the Merc with the Mouth. I came to this world on a mission given to me by Death herself, and I'm here to help!"

The members of Night Raid looked at each other… until Leone made a furry lion fist and punched Deadpool in the face making him black out. Not a bad first impression, as the Merc with the Mouth might say.

* * *

**Author's Note: **_Any and all comments welcome._


	2. The Merc With the Mouth's Mission

Deadpool slowly opened his eyes disoriented at first, but then found himself in a compromising position. He was hunt upside down with chains wrapped aroud his whole body. His mask was taken off revealing his hideously scarred face. He was still in pain in his chest with the sword stabbed right through it. He could feel the dying sensation as the black markings from his wound kept trying to surround him, but just as quickly disappeared. Deadpool turned his head seeing every assassin he met the other night alon with one more face: a woman with gray hair, an eyepatch, and a mechanical arm. She was sitting in a chair near the center of a wall.

"Whoa!" Deadpool shouted. "Coathanger! Coathanger!"

"What?" the pink-haired girl asked. "What are you talking about, ugly?"

"It's my safeword." Deadpool said. "What, you guys don't have those here? I'd imagine the Blonde Panther over there doesn't, but…"

"How?" Akame asked.

"Huh?" Deadpool returned.

"How are you surviving my sword?" Akame asked. "It's an Imperial Arms. There's no way you can survive it."

"Don't know what that means," Deadpool said, "But you might want to get this thing out of me before I start to really scream. And believe me, you don't want to hear me scream."

"Akame," the robot-arm woman said, "Take your sword out."

"Okay, boss." Akame said. She gripped the handle of her sword and violently pulled it out.

"SWEET PURPLE ON A THANOS, THAT STUNG!" Deadpool shouted.

"Perhaps we need to reestablish ourselves." The woman in the chair said. "Deadpool, was it? My name is Najenda. I am the leader of Night Raid. The girl who tried to kill you is Akame and the 'Blonde Panther', as you called her is Leone. The big guy is Bulat, the creep with the jacket is Lubbock, the one with the glasses is Sheele, and the girl with the pink hair is Mine."

"And her name is…" Deadpool said.

"What?" Najenda asked.

"You said the girl with the pink hair is yours. But what's her name?"

"Hey, you bozo!" the pink-haired girl said. "She's saying my name. It's Mine!"

"I know your name is yours. But what is it?"

"Mine!"

"I KNOW IT'S YOURS!"

"Do you really not understand her name?" Leone asked.

"No, I just wanted to see how long she can keep it up." Deadpool said. Mine growled and pulled out a big sniper gun. She fired a shot that went straight through Deadpool's chest, but the Merc With the Mouth didn't even flinch. "No BB guns, kid. You'll shoot your eye out. Oh, sorry, One-Eyed Willie. Was that offensive?"

"You know what, could someone get him down?" Najenda asked. "I can't take him seriously if he's dangling upside down."

"Are you sure, ma'am?" the Lubbock asked. "He seems a little unstable."

"Okay, I'll just do it myself." Deadpool said as his chains fell to pieces and he fell to the ground. When he got up, he was free as a bird.

"What the…" Najenda asked. "How did you…"

"Ancient Chinese secret." Deadpool said. "So, what do you want to know?"

"You said something about… death the other night?" Bulat asked. "Mind explaining?"

"No problem." Deadpool said. "Mistress Death, the ruler of all things dead, the living embodiment of all things beyond the grave… is this super-hot skeleton babe with a sweet emo robe. And get this, she digs me."

"What?" Sheele asked.

"I'll start at the beginning. I used to be an ordinary merc. I was hired to do some bad things for a bit of cash. However, when I was diagnosed with a lot of cancer, I thought my killing days were done. But then, I was brought to this military place called Weapon X. They gave me mutant powers to help me survive my cancer, but it kinda left me with some insane scarring. Since then, I've been doing some more extreme contracts. Follow me so far?"

"Sorry," Lubbock said, "But you kinda lost me at… the skeleton babe part."

"I'll pound you for that later." Leone said.

"None of this explains how you were able to survive Akame's sword." Najenda said. "Even though your powers got rid of your sickness, you shouldn't have survived that."

"My powers didn't get rid of the cancer, sweetie." Deadpool said. "My powers help me tolerate it. You see, my powers come with a super-advanced healing factor that makes Wolverine go 'I wish I had Deadpool's healing factor, bub'. You can stab me, cut off my head, or even melt me, but I still get back up. So even a poisoned sword won't kill me. That's what made me scare the pants off of Li'l Miss Slice-'N-Dice."

"You did not." Akame argued.

"Did too and you know it." Deadpool returned with a childish tone. "The experiments may have also driven me a bit nuts."

"So back to your story." Najenda said. "What's this about Death?"

"Well, like I said, we have a special relationship, but because of my advanced healing, I can't die, so I can't be with her. We do chat every once in a while when I'm reeeeeaaaaally close to dying, but that's it. On my last near-death experience, we had a particularly interesting conversation. She wanted me to come here to this world."

"This world?" Najenda asked. "Go on."

"Well, as the living embodiment of death, my girl keeps track of all things that die in all the worlds. She has this little balance thing, and this world has a great imbalance of life and death. More people are dying at once than she's confortable with. It's been inconvienencing Death, so she wants me to take care of it by getting it by its source."

"The capital." Najenda said. "I see. So Death sent you here to put and end to the empire's tyranny."

"Actually, she didn't send me here." Deadpool said. "She can't do that. I found a different way. You see, in my world, we have a few little trinkets called the Infinity Stones, six gems of unimaginable power. I've hunted them down in a sequence that could be a great montage. I used them to open a portal and—bibbitti-bobbitti-boo—I am here."

"And these Infinity Stones?" Najenda asked.

"Oh, I left those behind." Deadpool said. "Thought they'd start more problems than they'd solve if I brought them with me. But before I did, I used them to make a slight change on me. I turned myself from an adult to a teenager."

"Why?" Bulat asked.

"Plot convenience. Honestly, I think Epiclot214's apparently too lazy to come up with a good excuse." _**Hey!**_

"Well, this has certainly been… informative." Najenda said. "So, you're here to help the resistance?"

"Resistance?" Deadpool asked. "I thought you were just an assassin's guild after those uppercrust toolbags."

"Night Raid is a front for the resistance force against the Prime Minister's tyrannical rule. He's corrupted the young prince's mind to do whatever he wants. And so, those who want it to end have formed a small band of rebels that grew into a resistance army all over the empire. Night Raid handles assassinations and gathering information. And with someone as hard to kill as you, you'd be a great asset."

Deadpool chuckled. "You said 'great'."

"So, Wade Wilson," Najenda continued offering her metal hand out, "Will you fight for Night Raid?"

"Just so you know," Lubbock said, "This won't have consequences."

"Each of us is expecting death for what we do." Bulat added.

"More than likely, most of us are gonna die before the empire falls." Sheele said.

"Hey, if you put me at the front lines, that'll better your chances." Deadpool said before turning back to the metal-armed boss. "Okay, Skywalker, you've got a deal."

"Excellent." Najenda said shaking his hand. "Welcome to Night Raid. Akame, you're in charge of showing him the ropes. And please stop trying to kill him."

"…Okay."

"Wow, you must have gotten to her." Leone said. "Never seen her hesitate from an order."

"Girls always hesitate, but they always end up impaling me, if you know what I mean." Deadpool said. He grabbed his red-and-black mask and put it back on. "Okay, where do I start making the chimi-flippin'-changas?"

* * *

In the middle of the capital, the Emperor's palace stood proud and tall. And at the center, the throne room glistened like a beacon in the night. However, it was not a happy time for a wrongly-convicted citizen was on his knees begging for mercy from the young ruler and his prime minister.

"Please!" the citizen shouted in tears. "I'm innocent! It's the Prime Minister! He set me up!"

"Now, young emperor." Honest said. "Obviously, he's lying to cover his tracks. Don't you trust me?"

"Of course, Prime Minister," the emperor said. He turned back to the wrongly-accused. "You are hereby ordered to be executed!"

"NO!" the man cried out. "I HAVE A WIFE! PLEASE, DON'T DO THIS!"

"Oh, don't worry." Honest said as he approached him. He knelt down to the man's ear with a menacing grin. "Your wife won't go without pleasure. I'll take reeeeeaaaaaaal good care of her."

The man quivered in fear until he was forced to move. "NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOO!" The guards pulled him out of the room while another knight came in.

"Ah, captain." The emperor said. "I assume you have news."

"It's… something, your highness." The knight said. "One of our camps witnessed something fall from the sky the other night."

"And you're just telling us now?" the prime minister asked.

"Well… we had a hard time moving it." The knight said.

"So it's something big?" the emperor asked.

"No." the knight said. "Maybe it's best if you see for yourselves." He gestured to the guards outside who carried a metal box in one of their hands. "You see, they tried to pick it up, but when they did, it… blew up."

"Blew up?" the prime minister asked.

One of the knights opened up the box letting the emperor and the prime minister gaze at the object inside of it. The blood-red gemstone they stared at emitted a bright light of red. Just by looking at it, they knew it was filled with awesome power. Make no mistake; it was an Infinity Stone.

* * *

**Author's Note: **_And that's why Deadpool is in Akame Ga Kill. Any and all comments are welcome._


	3. Beauty and the Beast and Ogre

Dark was the night on the city. There traveled a rude soldier called Ogre. He was as crooked as they come. One night, he came across a hooded figure limping down the road. When he bumped into Ogre, he took exception to that.

"Hey!" Ogre said making the hooded figure stop. "Even rats have more manners than you."

"Oh, the mighty Ogre." The hooded man said in a shivering voice. "Forgive me. Listen, I need your help with something."

"What might it be?" Ogre asked.

The hooded man looked at all sides. "Sorry, but we can't talk here. Can't we do it somewhere more private?"

Ogre gestured his hand and lead the hooded man to a secluded alleyway. Once they were alone, Ogre returned to the man in the hood.

"All right, old-timer. What do you want?"

"My life has been unbearable." The hooded man said. "My mother was killed on a hunting trip, my father was murdered by a trusted advisor, and my one love has been taken by pirates. I don't think I can go on like this. I need you to end my misery now."

"Seriously?" Ogre asked. "Look, pal, I ain't gonna kill you just because you say so. It'll ruin all the fun." He started to turn around. "If you want to die, try falling off a cliff. Don't get someone else to do it for you."

"I got money." The hooded man said. "I heard you'd do anything for the right price."

Ogre stopped for a second and turned back. The hooded man nervously held up a white bag. Ogre took it and looked inside. He smiled at the gold coins.

"Are you satisfied?" the hooded man asked.

"Am I?" Ogre replied. He then pulled out his sword and rammed it into the hooded man's chest. He removed it with blood spilling from the wound. As the hooded man fell, Ogre smiled again. "Does that answer your question?" He then opened his bag of coins again. "Now then, let's see how much I…" He stopped when something entered his nose that was peculiar. "What the…"

It was a strange smell that he didn't expect to sense. He followed the sweet smell into the bag where the coins were. He pulled out a coin and noticed the wrapping. Once he removed it, he was appalled at what he found.

"Chocolate?" Ogre asked behind a growl. "This is chocolate?"

"Yeah, amazing what passes for gold at first glance."

Ogre froze for a moment when he realized the voice was coming from right behind him, where the hooded man laid down. But when he turned, it wasn't a dead man in a hood. It was a man in a red suit taking off his hood.

"What the…" Ogre asked in surprise. "How…"

"Good thing you don't have Bambi, the Lion King, and the Princess Bride in this world," Deadpool said, "Otherwise, you would've seen through my lie."

"Who… What are you?" Ogre asked.

"Oh, right, I should explain." Deadpool said. "You see, my group got a request from this woman. According to her, you've been taking bribes from some oil tycoon into pinning his crimes on someone else, including her fiancé. Now, my comrade, Akame, is taking care of that oil guy. So that means I've got you all to myself, big boy."

"You mean… you're from Night Raid?!" Ogre growled in anger. "I get it now! You must have some kind of Imperial Arms that's making you heal!"

"Sorry, Shrek," Deadpool said, "But all I'm hearing is, '_Kill me, Deadpool. I deserve it. It's too bad I'm going to leave my husband a widow_'."

"THAT'S IT!" Ogre shouted. He swung his sword, but Deadpool dodged it. Then, Deadpool pulled out his gun and plunged it deep into an exposed part of Ogre's armor. Ogre began to panic, but he was too late to move before Deadpool pulled the trigger… several times.

"Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Oh, this is my second favorite kind of banging!"

Eventually, Deadpool stopped letting Ogre limp backwards. He tried to reach out to his attacker, but eventually, Ogre fell backwards. As soon as his body impacted the ground, Deadpool looked up to see Leone smiling from the rooftop. He climbed up to meet with her.

"Been waiting long?" the Merc with the Mouth asked.

"Me and Akame just finished killing that oil tycoon. The guy's lucky he got killed by two hot babes. Anyway, I suggested to come on over and see how you were doing, but Akame didn't want to."

"I get the sense she doesn't like me very much."

"Don't worry about it, Wilson." Leone said. "Look, when Akame was a kid, she and her sister were sold to the military. They were part of a group of special kids training to be elite assassins. Very few survived the process, and Akame was one of them, especially with her Imperial Arms. You're the first person who ever survive being cut by it. I guess she just doesn't know how to respond to that."

"What's all this about Imperial Arms? I keep hearing it everywhere."

"Basically, they're the most powerful weapons in the world." Leone explained. "A long time ago, the first emperor commissioned the creation of 48 relics of great power to secure the empire's strength. He collected the best materials, hired the best scientists, and slain the most powerful Danger Beasts to create them in many forms. However, there was a civil war and about half of the Imperial Arms were lost. Some of the remaining ones are in the Empire's hands, and some of them are with us. Just about everyone in Night Raid has one."

"Really?" Deadpool asked.

"Well, yeah. My Imperial Arms, Lionelle, grants me increased strength and animal senses. Lubbock has razor-thin threads that he uses on anyone called Cross Tail. Bulat's armor, Incursio, increases his physical abilities and can turn invisible. Mine's Pumpkin has a powerful blast. Sheele's a master with her giant scissors, Extase. And Akame's Imperial Arms, Murasame, can kill anyone with just a cut…" She looked at Deadpool. "Well, almost anyone."

"So I guess…" Deadpool said before noticing something. Both he and Leone looked down on the street the Merc came from and saw Ogre slowly standing back up with great effort. He was clutching his gun wound tightly as he growled in anger.

"Looks like you missed a spot." Leone said. "Don't worry. I'll…"

She stopped when Deadpool threw something small and let it land right next to Ogre. The corrupt captain looked at the object and saw a hand grenade without a pin.

"Oh, sh…" Ogre growled before it went off. The entire alleyway was drowning in a loud boom of fire.

"I had a spare grenade just hanging on my belt." Deadpool said innocently. "What was I to do with it?"

"Is it weird that I kinda found that hot?" Leone asked with a grin.

"Well, it's hot already." Deadpool said. "But back to Imperial Arms, if each has a special ability, what's the most powerful?"

"It depends on the user or the circumstances." Leone said. "To answer your question though, according to the boss, it's the one that gives one control over ice. Apparently, she fears that more than anything else."

"That sounds big." Deadpool said.

"You have no idea." Leone said. "Say, I've been meaning to ask."

"Hmm?"

"This things you have with Lady Death… How does that relationship work again?"

"Well, I only get to see her for a few moments when I'm super close to being dead. Until I can find a way to die forever, we can't actually be together. I guess that's one reason she finds me attractive."

"So you're not dating as long as you're alive?" Leone asked. "And you're free to go out with whoever you'd like while you're alive?"

"She never made any complaints before." Deadpool answered.

"Good to know." Leone said right before she pounced taking him by surprise. She mounted herself on top of Deadpool and leaned her head to his own. She removed his mask revealing his scarred face.

"You sure about this?" Deadpool asked. "Most ladies in my world say I'm not much of a looker."

"Hey, it's not like I'm looking for love… at least, not yet anyway." Leone said seductively. "I'd still like to know you first. I told you, my Imperial Arms gives me animal instincts, and seeing that tremendous display really got my blood pumping. So what do you say?"

"I say…" Deadpool said with a smile, "Party at my room tonight!"

* * *

In a distant land, what was once a large, vast rebel base was now a destroyed wasteland of ice and snow. The entire compound was trapped in a glacier. And at the center of it all was a woman in a white military uniform and long, blue hair. She was having her feet worshiped by the formerly proud hero among the rebels who was now reduced to behaving like a dog. Bored with him, the blue-haired woman kicked his head so hard, it killed him. She then picked up a golden gauntlet with six rock-sized cavities at the top of the hand region.

"_Now, what's your story?_" She thought to herself. "_Right when I finally dominated this pathetic excuse of a rebel camp, you suddenly appeared from the sky. I don't know why, but I'm curious about this._"

That's when an Imperial Soldier approached her. "General Esdeath," he greeted, "We just got orders from the capital. His majesty has requested your presence immediately."

"All right, then." Esdeath said as she stood up with the golden gauntlet held firmly in her hand. "Pack up your things, men! We are going home!"

* * *

**Author's Note: **_Lucky Merc. Anyway, I need help. As you can infer, I'm having the Infinity Stones in this story. I just need help finding out where they will end up. I already know where to put the Mind Stone and the Power Stone is already in the hands of the Emperor. I just need some ideas on where and when the characters will find the other four stones. Help is always appreciated. Any and all comments are welcome._


	4. Mind Over Splatter

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!" Mine shouted in the Night Raid meeting room.

"You really can't handle it when a job is done another way other than yours, can you?" Deadpool asked.

"Would you two be silent?!" Najenda asked angrily. "Now, Mine, what happened?"

"Well, you sent me and this lunatic to assassinate the Prime Minister's relative who was put in charge of finance in the empire." Mine started to explain.

"A corrupt politician's relative is an accountant?" Deadpool asked. "Guess evil is genetic."

"And you temporarily put me in charge of training him, so he had to partner up with me." Mine said. "I was about ready to take the shot-a genius sniper shot that would've killed the target without even grazing his guests-when suddenly, he pulled out a…" She turned to the Merc with a Mouth. "What did you call it?"

"A rocket launcher." Deadpool said. "And no, I will not tell you where I've been keeping it, though I can give you a few guesses if you'd like."

"And that's another thing!" Mine ranted. "While we were waiting, Deadpool wasted my time with his story of a 'one-night stand'. WITH WHOM?!"

Deadpool glared at Leone who gave him a playful wink.

"I can probably guess." the boss said. "Deadpool, you can't keep talking like that."

"I thought this was an assassination guild, not a human resources department." Deadpool said. "And as for the rocket launcher, I got the guy and his guards, and everyone else screamed and ran away as soon as they saw it coming. It was a win-win."

"Look, it occurs to me that you have no self-restraint." Najenda said. "So for the time being, you will be shadowing Akame."

"...I get the impression you think I'm unstable." Deadpool said.

"Deadpool." Najenda growled. "As long as I'm the boss, you will follow my orders. I happen to have a mission for the two of you. You are to hunt down Zank the Executioner."

Suddenly, all of Night Raid gasped. Deadpool could feel the fear in their faces.

"Uh, boss." Leone said nervously. "Are you sure?"

"I know Wade is a hard nut to kill, but this might be a bit much." Bulat said.

"I wouldn't treat anyone else any different." Najenda explained. "The Executioner's been very active lately, and it's our duty to stop him by any means necessary."

"Uh, for those of us who didn't this world's high school, could someone explain who this Executioner guy is?" Deadpool asked. "He sounds like a pro wrestler."

"Zank was an executioner for an Imperial prison." Najenda explained. "It was full of innocent people who were sent to death row, and Zank was the man who killed them all. One day, he decided to stop limiting his killings in the prison walls and left to become a serial killer."

"I take it this guy is tough then?" Deadpool asked.

"More than you think." Najenda said. "Before he left, Zank killed the prison warden and took something from his possession: an Imperial Arms. To this day, I don't know what it does, so keep your guard up."

"Will do, Winter Soldier." Deadpool said.

* * *

That night, in a city, Deadpool and Akame were standing on a rooftop looking over the streets. But they were both in a state of awkward silence.

"So…" Deadpool said trying to break the silence, "What do you think of the weather?" Akame didn't answer. "What's your favorite color?" Still no answer. "Do you collect stamps?" Still nothing "Look, I'm trying to break the ice with you, but you're not even giving it a chance."

"It's not that, you idiot." Akame said. "I'm mentally preparing myself. Zank is an Imperial Arms user and so am I. Usually, in a battle with two users, one of them is fated to die."

"Just what you want to hear first thing in the morning." Deadpool mocked.

"AAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" a scream was heard. Deadpool and Akame followed the noise from blocks away. They ran through alley after alley until they made it to a large open area where a man was laying in beetle position grunting in pain and covering his face. His forehead was covered by an eye-shaped band with a large hole in it. When he went back up, he glared angrily at the two assassins.

"Who's the hobo?" Deadpool asked.

"That's Zank." Akame said raising her sword.

"Him?" Deadpool asked. "Hey, buddy, are you okay?"

"What…" Zank said angrily. "What goes on in there?"

"I beg your pardon?" Deadpool asked.

"I just peeked in, and I kept seeing visions of absurdity and insanity!" Zank exclaimed. "And what the heck is '_Chickity China the Chinese Chicken_'?"

Underneath his mask, Deadpool opened his eyes. "Akame, I think this guy's Imperial Arms can read minds."

"Really?" Akame asked. "Well, then this battle will be tricky."

"Maybe for you." Deadpool said. "Just give me five minutes with this guy. Then you can tag in."

Akame paused for a moment to think before sheathing her sword. "All right. Go on."

"You must be more foolish than I thought." Zank expressed as he regained his compusure. "Your mind may be a minefield for me, but reading it isn't the only trick I have at my disposal. I've already used my second power, my X-Ray vision, and I already know every weapon at your disposal."

"Pervert!" Deadpool shouted. "Well, guess what, buddy. I can read minds too."

"No you…" Zank started to say.

"Can't!" Deadpool interrupted. "See? We're not so different, I and you."

"It's…" Zank started to say.

"You and I!" Deadpool interrupted again. "See? I know everything you're about to say."

"That's because I…" Zank started to say.

"Only behead people because I'm insecure about my own looks!" Deadpool interrupted.

"THAT'S IT!" Zank shouted as he raised his sword. "YOU'RE DEAD!" He swung his sword, but dodged out of the way and jumped behind the Executioner.

"Where are you aiming, tri-clops?" Deadpool mocked.

Zank tried to swing again, but instead, he got his hand stabbed by one of Deadpool's swords. He removed his hands from the blade spilling pints of blood all over the floor.

"Watch your fingers, pal." Deadpool said. "Don't want you to have an accident."

"How?" Zank asked fighting through the agonizing pain. "How in the world is there a human being like you?"

"Eff you. That's how." Deadpool responded.

Zank glared at Akame and looked at her sword. He smiled "You, there. Girl."

"Uh, her name is Akame." Deadpool said. "Check your privileges. You're part of the problem."

"What do you want?" Akame asked.

"That sword." Zank said. "You use an Imperial Arms too, right? Don't need to answer. I already know. Before anything else happens, I must know, how do you deal with the voices?"

"What voices?" Akame asked.

"You know what I'm talking about." Zank said standing straight back up ignoring the blood. "The cries of your victims. I've been hearing them ever since my days at the prison. They've been telling me to join them time and time again. I've been trying to drown them out, but if someone like you managed to…"

"I never hear them." Akame interrupted catching Zank off guard. "I'm sorry, but I never hear voices."

"Ooo." Deadpool exclaimed. "Now, I just feel sorry for you, Zanky. Guess it's just you."

"So sad." Zank growled. "I thought someone who killed as much as you would share in my pain, but alas. Oh, well. But know this… I'M NOT LETTING YOU KILL ME!"

"Well, I suppose I'll have to do the beheading this time." Deadpool said unsheathing his other sword.

"No, Wade." Akame said. "Your five minutes are up. It's my turn."

"Really?" Deadpool asked. "Okay. I have every faith in you."

"We'll see about that!" Zank shouted. Suddenly, his eye talisman started to glow bright blue nearly blinding Akame and Deadpool. When it dimmed, there was another figure that make Akame's eyes widen. It was a girl with a black skirt and black hair. She also carried a sword.

"What the…" Wade asked while Zank laughed.

"WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT?! WHILE I KILL YOU, ALL YOU WILL SEE IS THE PERSON YOU LOVE THE MOST! YOU WILL…"

He was interrupted one last time when Akame thrusted her sword at not just the girl who vanished on contact, but also Zank, who was cut. Zank fell on his back feeling the pain from the wound.

"What…" Zank asked through the pain. "How…"

"You were right." Akame exlained. "That was the person I loved the most. And it is because I love her that I have to kill her. Take solace, Zank. Now, you won't be hearing the voices anymore."

Zank lowered his head backwards until the back of it hit the stone ground. And he smiled slightly.

"Thank you." he whispered with his last breath.

"Whoa." Deadpool said. "Now, that was hardcore."

Akame walked to the corpse and pulled off the eye talisman before putting it in her pocket.

"So let's head back to headquarters." Akame said. "We're having meat."

"We had meat earlier!" Deadpool protested.

* * *

"Well, done, you two." Najenda said. "The Executioner is dead and we got his Imperial Arms in the process. We should be able to find it a suitable host soon."

"Maybe." Lubbock said examining the Arms. "Though it's in pretty bad shape. What did you guys do to it?"

"Not me." Deadpool said. "I didn't go anywhere near it."

"Nevertheless, I think congratulations are in order for the two of you." Najenda said.

"Thank you, boss." Akame said. "I probably wouldn't have done it without Wade."

"Thanks, Akame." Deadpool said.

"Still, there's one thing I don't get." Najenda said. "Making you see an illusion is one thing, but this Imperial Arms, Spected, could only project it to one person. How did all of you see it at once?"

"Uh, guys." Lubbock said nervously. "I… I think I found something." Lubbock used his threads to pull something that was lodged deeply in the eye. It was a glowing blue gemstone that amazed everyone.

"Hey, I know that thing." Deadpool said. "That's the Mind Stone."

"The Mind Stone?" Bulat asked.

"Yeah, it's one of the Infinity Stones." Deadpool explained.

"The things you used to come to this world?" Leone asked.

"I thought you said you left them back at your world." Mine said.

"I thought I did." Deadpool said. "I jumped in the portal, but then, I realized I was still wearing the Gauntlet holding them. I ripped it off and threw it backwards and…" He stopped when he realized his mistake. "Ooooooooh."

"Are you telling me that the most powerful things in your world are scattered across the Imperial Kingdom?" Najenda asked with a voice filled with both worry and anger.

"I… think so." Deadpool said nervously. "One one hand, they shouldn't work in a universe other than their own. On the other, that would make the stones less convenient for the plot. Well, needless to say… Uh oh, spaghetti-o's!"


	5. Injustice

Nighttime fell over the city. Sheele, Mine, and Deadpool ran across the park.

"I just love Naruto running." Deadpool said.

"Shut up!" Mine shouted.

"I sense hostility." Deadpool said. "Remember, we already killed that Chibui guy. Wait, is this still about the Infinity Stones?"

"You did let them into our world and one of them did land in the hands of a serial killer." Sheele said. "Even I think that's dumb."

"It seemed like a harmless idea at the time." Deadpool said.

"Well, I for one think you should be punished for it." Mine said.

"From my perspective, being stuck on a mission with Meanie Pie and the airhead is punishment enough." Deadpool said irritating Mine. "Still, quite a coincidence that the Mind Stone, the Infinity Stone that manipulates thoughts and dreams, would end up on a mind-related Imperial Arms and make it more powerful."

"Um… what other Stones are there?" Sheele asked.

"Well, there's the Soul Stone that controls people's souls, the Reality Stone that changes the laws of physics, the Space Stone that takes you pretty much anywhere, the Time Stone that controls time, and the Power Stone which is pretty much a nuclear powerhouse in a little gem."

"Why do you ask?" Mine asked.

"Because I have a theory," Shelle said, "About how to find the other stones. Although, it might be risky."

"Well, what is it?" Mine asked.

Suddenly, before Sheele could answer, an unknown figure landed between the trio. The three of them separated letting the smoke from the landing clear. The figured was revealed to be a teenage girl with auburn hair and wearing silver armor. She was accompanied by a small dog standing on its hind legs.

"Holy mustard!" Deadpool shouted. "Where did you come from?"

"So it's you." The girl said. "I recognize your face from the wanted posters. You're Sheele from Night Raid. Which means the rest of you are from Night Raid. At last, I have found you."

"Something's wrong." Deadpool said. "I sense hyprocricy, so this might be dangerous."

"I am with the capital garrison, Seryu Ubiquitous! In the name of justice, I sentence this evil to death!"

"Brilliant introduction, little miss hard-to-pronounce-name." Deadpool returned. "Unfortunately, my deathday isn't scheduled for another… ever. So you better stop wasting time or you're gonna regret it."

"You mock me!" Seryu shouted with anger and craziness brewing in her eyes. "My father died fighting villains like you and you killed my master and captain, Ogre."

"Whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop." Deadpool chanted quickly as he recognized the name.

"Don't worry, you two." Mine said as she whipped out her Pumpkin. "I'll take care of this."

She fired from her gun and it dashed straight towards Seryu. Suddenly, at the last second, Seryu's dog slid in front of her and grew in size. The bullet hit it, but it barely left a scratch. Now, it just growled in anger.

"Someone's been drinking their milk." Deadpool said.

"It's an Imperial Arms." Sheele said.

"Seriously?" Deadpool asked. "He looks like Scrappy Doo ate Marmaduke."

"Some Imperial Arms are biological, genius." Mine said.

Suddenly, Seryu pulled out a pair of guns and aimed them. She fired them forcing Mine, Sheele, and Deadpool to run to the sides.

"Running, running, running!" Deadpool said. He loaded his gun and pointed them towards Seryu. "MAXIMUM EFFORT!"

Deadpool fired his guns, but Seryu also ran to her side.

"Koro!" she called to her dog. "Deal with this evil-doer!"

Koro immediately charged toward Deadpool, who switched his guns with his swords. Koro's arms began to grow from adorable cartoon arms to huge, muscular arms. He tried to swing at the merc, but Deadpool kept dodging. Deadpool tried to slice at the dog, but it barely noticed it. It was a back-and-forth battle of Deadpool and Koro trying to kill each other.

"Nice." Deadpool said. "What's your secret, beef steroids?"

Deadpool made another try by pulling out a grenade, pulling its pin, and stuffing it in Koro's mouth. Deadpool then ran away with a Road Runner "beep-beep" sound. Just as he was far enough, the grenade went off in Koro's mouth and a huge explosion blew out of its face.

"I just killed a dog." Deadpool said. "My goodness, I've become my Uncle Sid."

"You didn't kill him, you idiot." Mine said. "Imperial Arms don't go down that easily. Help Sheele. I'll deal with this mutt."

"Give me one good reason why I should listen to you." Deadpool said.

Mine pointed at the explosion cloud as it began to depart. What remained was Koro's standing body with a huge hole where its face should be. Suddenly, the face grew back and it growled in Deadpool's direction.

"I assume that's enough of a reason for…" Mine stopped herself when she turned and saw that Deadpool was no longer there. "Weirdo." She aimed her gun preparing to fight.

Deadpool went into a group of trees because he saw Sheele run in there after Seryu. He jumped from tree branch to tree branch until his eyes caught a large splash of blood coming from what's left of Seryu's arms. Sheele was there before her getting the fresh blood off of her scissors.

"Well, that oughta hurt like the dickens." Deadpool commented listening to Seryu's screams. Suddenly, his ears caught what sounded like a gun whirring up before it shoots. "Uh oh! That aint' good!"

Seryu replaced her screaming with a psychotic smile as two guns emerged from her severed arms catching Sheele by surprise. Two shots were fired, but instead of hitting Sheele, Deadpool jumped in at the last minute. One bullet hit him in the chest while the other went straight to his forehead. The bullets pushed him back and his body laid on the grass. Sheele was shocked for a moment while Seryu laughed.

"How do you like that, villains?" Seryu asked. "This way, even if you do win, I'll have slain one evil-doer! How do you like…"

"Wade, are you all right?" Sheele asked.

Much to Seryu's surprise, Deadpool slowly got back up removing both bullets from his wounds. He groaned as he dropped the bullets he pulled out.

"Haven't taken it in the face that hard since my birthday." He said.

"But… that's impossible!" Seryu screamed in pain.

"Now, what's impossible is the fact that you had guns in your arms and you still survived." Deadpool said. "Seriously, if you're trying to pass off as a cyborg, that is horrible. And I should know. I've met a real cyborg. Oh, and as for your guns…"

Sheele did her part at that moment and swung her scissors down on her opponent's guns. With one more strike, they fell off. Seryu fell on her back in disbelief after that.

"Now that Riding Hood is down for the count, let's go put down Ol' Yeller." Deadpool said.

Deadpool and Sheele ran out of the trees seeing that Koro had Mine in its paws and began to crush her. Deadpool unsheathed his swords and jumped up toward the dog's wrist.

"BAD FIFI!" Deadpool shouted as he swung his arms on Koro's wrist cutting it off and releasing Mine. Koro leaped back howling in pain. "Bad."

Sheele approached the recovering Mine.

"You okay?" Sheele asked.

"I'll live." Mine said. "Right now, we should probably escape before reinforcements arrive."

"Yeah," Sheele agreed. "That's probably a good…"

BAM!

That last gunshot got everyone by surprise as the bullet went right through Sheele's chest. Deadpool and Mine looked at where the bullet came from. Even the Merc with the Mouth was surprised to see that Seryu had a third internal gun right in her mouth. Once again, Seryu gave a psychotic laugh. Before anyone could react though, Koro jumped toward Sheele's falling body and bit its jaws down over her upper body. With one bite, Sheele was ripped in two.

"You…" Deadpool started to growl. "YOU MONSTERS!" He pulled out one last gun and fired it straight at Seryu.

The psychotic knight tried to dodge, but it was a near-miss. The bullet made its way into her head, but it entered at the far end of her forehead and exited out of her temple. It was enough for her to fall back into unconsciousness. Koro turned to tend to its master while the Imperial Army entered the area.

Deadpool saw the knights coming and grabbed Mine, who was very shocked.

"Stop looking so deadpan, twin-tails!" Deadpool shouted. "We gotta go!" He grabbed her wrist and dragged her out of the park.

* * *

All of Night Raid was devastated when Seryu was reported dead. They mourned for her outside of their hideout in the rain. Even Deadpool wouldn't dare speak for it was not appropriate. But that didn't stop Mine from punching him in the face.

"Mine!" Najenda shouted.

"I know it's not perfect, but watch the face!" Deadpool said finally.

"You…" Mine growled in frustration. "You had Seryu Ubiquitous right in front of you! Why didn't you kill her?"

"I thought I did." Deadpool defended himself. "She had her arms cut off… twice! How was I suppose to know she'd survive it?"

"Leave him alone, Mine." Bulat said. "We're Night Raid. Our lives could be taken any day. Sheele knew what she signed up for. Any one of us could die."

"Not Wilson!" Mine growled in anger. "No matter what happens to him, he gets to walk it off! But we die, and nothing happens! How is that fair?"

"Look, I'm sorry." Wade said. "It's not often that I'm sincerely sorry, but I am." Suddenly, an idea filled his head. "But hope's not lost. There might be a way to bring her back."

That just made Mine angrier. She leaped up and clutched Deadpool's throat as tight as she could. "DON'T PLAY GAMES WITH US, DEADPOOL!"

"I'm not." Deadpool said struggling with breathing. "Let me go, and I can explain." She was still mad, but Mine decided to let him go. Deadpool was coughing.

"What do mean we can bring her back?" Akame asked. "There's no Imperial Arms that can bring back the dead."

"It's the Infinity Stones." Deadpool said. "One is incredibly powerful, but if all six are used at once, you can change the universe however you want. One snap of your fingers, and all your problems can go away. If we had all six stones, then Bob's my HYDRA friend, we can not only bring your friends back, but we can also rid the empire of its corruption."

The rest of Night Raid looked at each other listening to the thunder echoing.

"I'll think about this." Najenda said. "These are trying times. But Deadpool, if we do go along with your idea, you had better be right about it."

"If I'm wrong, then Akame is free to lodge her poison sword in my throat for an entire week." Deadpool said.

"It would definitely be a consolation." Akame said.

"But it won't change what that psychopath has done." Mine said menacingly. "I swear, Seryu Ubiquitous will pay!"

* * *

Seryu's eyes started to open, but the first thing she felt was an ache on the side of her head. When she came to her senses, she found herself in a hospital bed with bandaged around her stumps for arms. When she turned her hurting head, she saw a familiar face that made her smile. It was a grown man in a lab coat with a sparkling aura around him.

"Dr. Stylish." Seryu greeted the man who gave her the implants.

"Good, honey." Dr. Stylish said. "It looks like it wasn't too severe."

"What happened?" Seryu asked.

"Well, you had a fight." Dr. Stylish said. "You got shot in the head, but it looks like the brain damage wasn't too severe. So do you remember anything?"

"Uh…" Seryu struggled to remember. Then, a flash of joy flooded in her head and made her smile. "Night Raid. The villains. I killed one of them."

"Yes, you did." Dr. Stylish said. "The one called Sheele. And her Imperial Arms was confiscated and is awaiting a new owner. But apparently, there were two others that got away. Can you tell me who they are?"

Seryu struggled again. "I think was some pink-haired girl. And the other… I can't remember." She then returned to an ecstatic smile. "But it's all right. I killed an evil-doer. Justice is done. I've made my dad and captain proud!"

* * *

**Author's Note: **_Sorry it's been a while. I've been debating on whether or not to have Sheele live, but then, I found a way. I hope it works. Any and all comments are welcome._


	6. The Three Beasts

"Welcome back, General Esdeath." The emperor greeted his most accomplished soldier. "I am pleased at your victory in the north."

Underneath her friendly face, Esdeath hid a sadistic nature that belonged to the deadliest monster to ever walk the planet, which she might be. But to keep up appearances, she had to hide it from the child emperor. Of course, the prime minister knew her true nature, but allowed her to do whatever she wanted.

"It is my greatest pleasure, your highness." Esdeath said.

"I know you just returned, but I have another job for you." The Emperor said. "We've had a rising increase of Night Raid activity lately. Some of them are of an… unorthodox nature. Do you think you can take care of them?"

"My team, the Three Beasts, are already working on a way. Though, to be safe, I will also require six more Imperial Arms wielders by my side."

"That's what makes you an admirable soldier, general. You don't cut corners."

"There's something else you must know, my lord." Esdeath said. "During my expedition north, my men and I came across a strange artifact that looked like gold. It's in the shape of a hand like a gauntlet, and it has six cavities on the back of it."

"I see." The Emperor said. "We'll be sure to study it as soon as we can. Well, is there anything else you need? I feel like a reward is in order. You're always compensated with gold which you send to your troops, but I feel it's not enough. Is there anything else you need?"

"…Now that you mention it, there is one thing." Esdeath answered. "I would like… to find love."

That took both the Emperor and the prime minister by surprise. They both paused for a moment.

"Don't you have plenty of men pleasing you already?" Honest asked.

"Those are all just pets." Esdeath answered.

"Well, if need be, I can play matchmaker." The Emperor said. "How about the Prime Minister? He's a good man."

"No offense, but his blood pressure is too high. He wouldn't survive long."

"I'm right here, you know." Honest said.

"In any case," Esdeath said holding up a piece of paper with a list on it, "This is a list of my preferences. I would like my love to fit this criteria."

"All right then." The Emperor said. "Thank you."

* * *

Across a snowy field, a noble carriage rode off. Inside are two people: a former minister, Chouri, and his lance-carrying daughter, Supia.

"This is no time to retire. This nation is falling apart." Chouri said. "I might as well as give Honest a piece of my mind."

"Well, you've got me to protect you, father."

"Supia, dear, you seem too daring. If you keep this up, you'll never find a husband."

"Father!" Supia blushed. "That has nothing to do with this! Besides, I'm not that intimidating. I just happen to know my way around a lance."

Suddenly, the carriage stopped. The father and daughter were confused, but that confusion changed to fear when they heard their guards outside screaming their lungs out. Supia took a peek outside and saw three men standing over the corpses of the guards. The former minister saw too and widened his eyes.

The three men are as follows. One was a pretty boy shorter than the others. Another was a brute of a man holding an axe. The other was a distinguished gentlemen complete with a mustache.

"I know those three." Chouri said. "They're the Three Beasts, the general's elite officers. Liver, Nyau, and Daidara. But why are they here?"

Before Supia could pull out her lance, Daidara swung his blade ultimately breaking the carriage into pieces. Of course, the father and daughter dodged it, but they were completely blown out. When Supia looked up, she saw the cute face of Nyau close to hers.

"You survived Daidara's attack." He said. "Good for you. However…" He pulled out a large kitchen knife. "I'm going to make you wish you didn't. It's good to have another face in my collection."

Supia was utterly petrified. But then, she was surprised at another figure behind Nyau. This figure suddenly pressed the front of his pistol at the side of Nyau's head.

"Huh?" he asked. "Who…"

BANG!

Nyau's head exploded at the gunshot. Liver and Daidara were taken aback by the sound. Above Nyau's body, Deadpool stood spinning his gun like a cowboy.

"Was that girl-boy bugging you?"

"What?" Daidara asked. "How…"

"Did I pull off this sweet entrance, you ask." Deadpool interrupted. "The secret, my furry friend, is timing." During the conversation, Supia went to her father and snuck into hiding.

"Why you…" Daidara growled. "Who do you think you are?"

"I think—therefore, I am—your friendly neighborhood Deadpool, sent here on a special mission by Lady Death herself to join Night Raid and put an end to the turmoil of this kingdom."

"Night Raid?" Liver asked.

"Yeah, you see, somebody's been killing innocent civil servants and making it look like Night Raid did it. We figured that with the former minister traveling out in the boonies, he'd be an open target. So here I am."

"Well, you responded better than we thought." Liver said. "You see, this was all a trap. You see, we've got Imperial Arms, and I see that you do not."

"That didn't help your why-boner friend, did it?" Deadpool said. "Besides, I've brought an Imperial Arms. I'm just not the one using it."

"What?" Daidara asked. Suddenly, he was kicked from behind. Everyone looked at the attacker who was wearing his Incursio armor.

"I bet he's gonna feel that one in the morning." Deadpool said. "Nice kick, Bulat!"

"Wade!" Bulat shouted.

"Bulat?" Liver asked.

"Deadpool!" the mercenary shouted.

"So it is you." Liver said. "My, it's been so long."

"You know this guy, Bulat?" Deadpool asked. "Oh, was he your boyfriend?"

"He wishes." Liver said.

"Deadpool, this is Liver, my former general." Bulat said. "Last I saw, he was taken by the capital for not taking bribes for the Prime Minister. He never got a fair hearing and was sentenced to death. And now, here he is doing despicable deeds for Esdeath."

"If you only knew, Bulat." Liver said. "I was in my cell waiting for death. That is, until the unequal General Esdeath came to me. She told me that it'd be a waste to kill someone as talented as me. And she would erase all my charges simply because no one would deny her. Everything I have, everything I am, I owe it all to her. My power, my status…"

"That mustache." Deadpool said. "Seriously, dude, I've seen sketches of your general. Don't get me wrong, she's one of the sexiest chicks I have ever seen, but you seriously need a life."

"You might be right." Liver said rubbing his ring. "So I'll take both of yours!" He thrusted his hand up and the snow changed into water striking in Bulat's direction. He dodged it just in time.

"Well, big guy, while you deal with Waluigi, I'll handle…" Before he could finish, Daidara stood up in front of him with an angry growl escaping his teeth. "…The most generic thug I have ever seen. Neat."

"Killing you may not give me as much experience as I need." Daidara said holding up his axe.

Deadpool dodged each strike and jumped back while breakdancing.

"Can't touch this. STOP! Deadpool time!"

Daidara raised the axe again and threw it forward. It split into two different blades that flew in Deadpool's direction. He dodged it and watched them reverse back in his direction again. And again. And again.

"Try all you want." Daidara said. "My Imperial Arms, Belvark, will keep attacking you until it runs out of momentum."

"Well, if they're dead set on my location, then…"

Deadpool dodged one more time before sprinting in Daidara's direction. The Imperial officer was confused, and even more once Deadpool wrapped his arms around Daidara in a great embrace.

"What are you doing?" Daidara asked. "Let go!"

"No!" Deadpool yelled. "Let's be sliced in half… together!"

"What?" Daidara asked. He suddenly remembered Belvark spinning in his direction. The blades struck right through like cutting butter. Blood from both Deadpool and Daidara's severed bodies stained the white blanket of snow. They both fell and Deadpool fell right next to Nyau's corpse.

"Well, there goes Larry and Curly." Deadpool said as he started shifting his upper half to reattach with its lower half. "All that's left is Moe."

Suddenly, Bulat fell next to him and dropped his Imperial Arms. Liver walked to approach them observing the corpses of his two friends.

"Nyau. Daidara. Bulat, you and your friend are going to pay."

"Can you put it on my tab?" Deadpool asked. "I know it's an old comeback, but it's a classic too."

"Deadpool." Bulat groaned to talk. "My Imperial Arms. Incursio. You must take it."

"Oh, for me." Deadpool said as he picked up the sword. "Well, you shouldn't have."

"Don't be a fool." Liver said. "Not just anyone can wield an Imperial Arms. If you're not compatible, it could kill you."

"Kill me?" Deadpool asked. "Well, then I guess I have nothing to worry about." Deadpool jumped up back on his feet and raised his sword pointed in the air. "FOR THE HONOR OF GRAYSKULL!"

Suddenly, the sword changed into a suit of armor that wrapped itself all around Deadpool's body. When it was done, the Merc with the Mouth couldn't help but admire himself.

"Nice!" Deadpool said. "All the wenches at the ren fair aren't going to keep their hands off me. And speaking of nasty stuff…" He turned his head to Liver.

"That's some luck." Liver said. "Not that it matters anyway."

Liver shot his water with his ring and launched it toward Deadpool. The mercenary quickly dodged out of the way making mocking noises. Liver was annoyed, so he struck again. Rinse and repeat. Deadpool couldn't help but mock him.

"That all you got? I don't know why, but I thought you'd be better than that little girl who mutilated her visitors. 'Hey, look at me. I'm Liver. Deadpool rules and I grew my steampunk mustache to hide my secret sex lips'."

"STOP MOCKING ME!" Liver shouted.

With one last distraction, Deadpool got the chance he was waiting for. Liver left himself wide open for Deadpool to pull out his swords and launch them into Liver's stomach. Unfortunately, the swords never got the chance to cut it as Liver used a water whip to knock them aside. Deadpool jumped to the side with both swords in his hands.

"A valiant trick, I give you." Liver said. "But unfortunately, your distraction wasn't enough for your swords."

"You misunderstand, snookie bear." Deadpool said. "The swords were the distraction."

Liver looked down on his belt and saw an unclipped grenade attached to it. Before Liver had the chance to react to it, it ignited surrounding Liver with an explosion of fire.

"How you like me now?" Deadpool sang softly.

He stopped when he heard Bulat coughing with his back against the snowy ground. The former minister and his daughter emerged and approached with Deadpool.

"Hang in there, big guy." Deadpool said. "You'll get through it. We'll just take you back and…"

"No time." Bulat said. "Deadpool, you can use Incursio now. I can safely entrust it to you."

"Don't talk like that. You'll…" Deadpool wanted to say more, but the more he observed Bulat's wounds, the more he realized what was inevitable. He sighed. "All right then. I'll tell the others you did good."

"One more thing." Bulat said as he struggled to keep breathing. "Do you really mean it? About the stones you brought being able to bring us back?"

"If they can't do it, nothing can."

"Hehe. Then… I'll see you later… my friend." Bulat closed his eyes and embraced his fate. His lifeless body limped into the cold.

After a few minutes, Deadpool looked at the former minister and his daughter. "It's not safe for you guys anymore. You'd best leave the kingdom."

"But if this is Honest's work, then someone has to tell the people. Tell the Emperor." Chouri said.

"He won't let you." Deadpool said. "He'll have more assassins sent your way before you can set eyes on the kid. Just come with me to Night Raid. We'll set you up somewhere safe. And not to worry. The next time you'll see that Prime Minister guy, I'll be cutting him open like a tauntaun."

Chouri sighed and hugged his daughter. "All right. We'll go."

"Actually…" Supia said, "If it's all right, I'd like to stay."

"Meh?" Deadpool asked.

"Supia." Chouri said.

"Those men attacked us. They would've killed us and I would've been powerless to stop it. I don't want to feel that way again. So I'd like to get better at it. I want to join Night Raid."

"Really?" Deadpool asked.

"My precious daughter…" Chouri said. He then took a moment in silence. "If that's what you want, then I won't stand in your way. Good sir, you said your name was Deadpool, right? Can I trust you to watch over my daughter."

"Well, if that's all right, then okay." Deadpool said. "Just to warn you, lance girl, it's going to get very deadly from here on out."

"I don't care." Supia said. "If it means making sure the Prime Minister gets it, I'll do anything."

* * *

Standing over a mountain of bodies, a little girl with a black skirt and black hair sat on top watching her undead followers finish the victims while eating from her bag of cookies. That's when an imperial guard approached her.

"Ms. Kurome, you've been summoned to the capital."

"Okay." The girl raised her sword up revealing a yellow gemstone attached at the end. All of her undead minions were pulled and drained into it. "Hmm. I wonder where you are, my dearest sister, Akame."

* * *

**Author' Note: **_Sorry I haven't uploaded in a while. I was deciding how to handle the Three Beasts arc. I've decided on this. As you can tell, Kurome is now in possession of the Soul Stone. Any and all comments are welcome._


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